To this day, two years runs into me
My mind flushing with fear and regret
My life, Now, consistent and content
Two years ago, I considered life over
Life was over, mentally, before two years ago
Physical and mental me had not lined up
Yet
As I sit, glass at hand
My mind reverts
I wake to the sun, seeping through the window
The fresh scars on my wrist, a reminder
A reminder of the inevitable
For months I've been planning this day
I don't go
I don't talk
I don't move
I don't think
If I think, I fall even deeper
I cannot get out of bed
Although I've been sleeping most of the year
My body is heavy with my head
Pounding with what was soon to come
I think often about this day
This day soon to come
My life is isolated
I am alone, except for One
One who loves me, regardless of my darkness
While He does not understand, He knows
I have been off for a while
He can see the signs
Everyone in my life ignores them
The signs, I mean
I can never be the one
How can I be?
Two years doesn't seem that far
Am I healed?
No
